


I need you, love.

by Magnustoomuchbane



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Bottom Alec Lightwood, Boys In Love, Camille Belcourt Being An Asshole, Camille Belcourt is a bitch, Cute and Hot, Emotional Sex, First Time, Fluff and Smut, How Do I Tag, Isabelle Lightwood Ships Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, M/M, Making Love, Making Out, Malec, Masturbation, Porn with Feelings, Post-Episode: s01e13 Morning Star, Post-Season/Series 01, Second Kiss, Sex, Sibling Love, Smut, Supportive Isabelle Lightwood, Talking, Top Magnus Bane, and alec hates her, and also my first smur ever, have mercy, magnus bane is a sweetheart as always, maryes lightwoos is a bitch in this one, mentions of magnus and camille, they talk about their feelings, this is my first fic ever
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-07-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:15:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25411492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magnustoomuchbane/pseuds/Magnustoomuchbane
Summary: After Magnus leaves the institute after waking up Jocelyn without a word to Alec, Alec comes to a realisation and discovers what his heart wants, and more importantly where and to whom his heart belongs...Angst, fluff and smut. Hope you enjoy.
Relationships: Alec Lightwood & Isabelle Lightwood, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 10
Kudos: 61





	1. Realisation

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first time writing a fanfic.  
> There is no smut in the first chapter.  
> This fic takes place immediately after the end of season one. Does not follow season two's story line.  
> Kudos,comments and criticism are very welcome.  
> All characters belong to our dear Cassie Claire I do not own anything other than this fic.

Alec watched Magnus work his magic on Jocelyn in wonder. Magnus looked so powerful and beautiful (and extremely sexy,Alec's brain provided) while using his magic to wake Jocelyn up. Alec was brought out of his lovestruck haze by the sound of Clary's happy cry of joy when she jumped in her mother's arms. Alec couldn't help but smile at the display of affection and joy between the mother and daughter, also he couldn't help feeling a little envious since he had never been shown motherly affection at this extent from his own mother. His small moment of relief and happiness was quickly disturbed when he noticed Magnus moving. he looked at him and saw that he was looking right back at him. Magnus's beautiful, mesmerising eyes held sadness and longing, Alec could read Magnus's eyes like an open book in all capital letters despite of the short amount of time they had known each other. Magnus then smiled at him, a tiny, sad little smile and walked away from the group, and Alec without another word.

Alec watched him go, and once again lost himself in the gracefulness of Magnus's every move. He watched Magnus's lean but well-muscled form go further away from him and eventually diseappear through the heavy wooden doors of the institute. That's when he snapped out of his haze once again with a start. He was crushed into reality by a sudden realisation, Magnus had left without a word, without saying goodbye to anyone, and more importantly to HIM.

He then came to another startling realisation. He was the cause of the sad look in Magnus's eyes and he and his words (stupid horrible words, his mind unhelpfully supplied) were the reason why Magnus had left without a word to him, or anybody for that matter. He suddenly felt sick in his stomach, remembering his conversation with Magnus from earlier that day...

You watch the people you care about age and die... 

How could he? How dared he? Why did he have to say such harsh words to Magnus, to this wonderful, patient and unbelievably beautiful warlock, who by the way had saved him a life time of frustration, sorrow and regret the day before. Who had crashed a wedding, a shadowhunter wedding, his wedding to a woman who he didn't and would never have loved to save him, to grant him one last chance of living a life pure of lies, a life which promised happiness. How dared he look straight into his warm chocolate eyes and remind him of one of the saddest facts of the man's immortal life? 

He then remembered their last conversation before the wedding and thought he was about to pass out when he remembered his words...

This is just a game to you, isn't it?

You flirt, you laugh, you use magic, but at the end of the day, what do you risk?

Even if I did feel something for you, do you want me to give up my life for you? 

I have to do what's right for me, I could lose my family, career, everything. You just don't get it.

He had said all those things to the man who had crashed a shadowhunter wedding for him, which means he had risked his career and basically every single thing in his life for Alec. He could have been arrested or imprisoned in The Guard in Idris. To the man who had saved his sister's life, who had come to a shadowhunter court to defend his sister when his own fiance was trying to de-rune her, who had done all that literally for free and had handed him his bow and quiver back without a moment's hesitation.

"Alec" came a voice, a very familiar voice,"Earth to Alec, ALEC!ALEC!" Yelled Isabelle and he finally looked down and was finally brought out of his panicked haze.  
"Yes Izzy, what?"  
"You've been staring out into the space for almost ten minutes, are you okay?"  
"Ten minutes?" asked Alec incredulously. "Yeah sorry, I was lost in thought and it seems like I lost track of time." He said sheepishly, a light flush creeping up his neck(nothing like the ones Magnus caused with his outrageous flirting).  
"What were you thinking, hermano?" Isabelle asked, looking concerned.  
He considered not telling her the truth but then looked at her face again and saw her look of concern and decided against it. She was her little sister, the one person he could always share everything with, the only person who would listen to him no matter what miserable stupid thing he had done or said. he griped her hand and dragged him through the institute and to her room. He remembered the nights when his tiny little sister would crash into his room in the middle of an stormy night, jump into his bed and cuddle him tight, he would murmur an old lullaby under his breath until she drifted to sleep.  
He remember the nights when his little sister who by then was a gorgeous woman(even Alec despite being gay knew how attractive and beautiful Izzy was) would barge into his room with red, puffy eyes, cry on his shoulder while telling him how much of an asshole the guy who had broken her heart was.(And he would go and beat the living shit out of the guy first thing in the next morning, but no one needed to know that little detail.)

He dropped down on her bed unceremoniously. Izzy sat down next to him and proceeded to caress his black hair with her gentle fingers. And he calmed down a little at the gesture, it was one of the things they did to calm each other down, he always caressed her hair when she was stressed out and Izzy did the same for him.

They sat in silence for a few minutes but then Isabelle broke it,  
"Okay, spill." She said simply.  
"I messed up" He said and quickly decided against it,"I fucked up." That suits his situation much better.  
"Continue" "I messed up, I told Magnus things I never should have, not with that harsh cruel tone.  
I let Camille get under my skin, I gave in to my jealousy, I acted exactly like she wanted me to, after everything Magnus has done for me I shoved the fact that one day, I will be leaving him behind into his face."  
"Wait" Isabelle said, interrupting him,"You haven't even been on your first date yet and you're worrying over things that might happen decades later? And for the record it's not like Magnus is indestructible, he is just immortal, he can die at any moment like anyone, and now specially with Valentine and the cup on the loose, I would say you should worry more about the other way around, him leaving you behind to mourn over his loss or moving on after him."

Alec felt all the blood leave his face, as his heart seemed to go still, that thought had never even crossed his mind, that Magnus even had the ability to actually die.The man seemed to be bigger than life itself. He was centuries old, so powerful,possibly one of the most powerful warlocks to ever walk on this earth,and oh so beautiful and exquisite. Alec couldn't imagine that anything even death itself could have the tiniest effect on him.

He was once again brought out of his haze by the sound of Izzy's voice calling for him.

"Alec! Alec! Are you okay?" This time though she sounded way more concerned than before.  
"By the Angel, I'm so stupid." He said suddenly. Izzy was still looking at him with a expression of concern and confusion.  
"I'm so so stupid. He has just been saving my stupid ass every day and I've given him nothing but harsh words in return."  
"Well I bet he would love to do other things with your ass than just saving it." Isabelle said with her trade mark smirk.  
And for the first time in their lives, Alec returned the smirk with one of his own instead of blushing and stuttering over his words and said,"Well, we'll just have to wait and see."  
Izzy gaped at him in shock because she certainly wasn't expecting him to answer that.  
He suddenly got up from his spot on the bed and made his way to the door.  
"Where are you going?"

"Where my heart belongs." Alec said, smiling to himself, feeling free as he felt like a heavy weight had risen from his chest after admitting the truth to himself and saying it out loud for the first time.

To be continued....


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec gets ready to go see his...boyfriend?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know your opinion in the comments,  
> also don't forget to leave kudos.
> 
> Enjoy.

Alec rushed to his to room, closed the door and went to the shower. After all now that he had decided to go, see Magnus and apologise to him, he wanted to be at least presentable. he turned the shower on and put it on high temperature, and sighed in relief when hot water started soothing his muscles after the physically and emotionally exhausting day he had had.

He then remembered the last time he had come to this shower. It was just before his almost-wedding to Lydia, where all he had thought about was Magnus. 

Alec had never been one for masturbation, mostly because whenever he intended to touch himself his mind would provide him pictures of Jace, his brother, his prabatai and he would feel unbelievably guilty and ashamed. As a result he had never had a opportunity to explore himself in that way. But ever since he had met Magnus... well, that was a whole new story.

The first time it happened, it had been the night after the accident with the memory demon. Magnus had looked beautiful (as ever) that night, and Alec couldn't get his image out of his head. Magnus with his well-built form, stunning eyes and beautiful face was the most gorgeous man Alec had ever laid eyes on. Not to mention the grace with which he moved his body, which brought shame even to shadowhunters, considering they were known as the graceful race. 

The next time it happened had been the day after he had helped Magnus heal Luke. That night they had drank together and talked for hours. Magnus had told him stories from around the world, from the depth of history. Alec had never actually thought about what being immortal meant until that night. That night he realised why Magnus Bane was known as nothing less than a legend in Shadow World. That night he realised that Magnus was much more than just a pretty face and stunning looks. After that peaceful night of drinks and hours of talking without even a second of awkwardness and boredom, his feelings for Magnus had changed from pure physical lust and desire to something more, something deeper.

He had touched himself imagining it was Magnus's hands and lips touching him numerous times after that. And each time his fantasies became much more detailed, each time the Magnus in his fantasies became gentler and more loving than the last time, because each time he met Magnus, he got to know him a little better and was more convinced that Magnus could not be anything less that gentle with a lover, even in his fantasies.

But all those time he pleasured himself, thinking it was Magnus doing it for him, never once the thought even crossed his mind that he could actually have any of that. Even in his wildest wet dreams, he never thought that one day he would actually get to kiss Magnus and finally find out what that sinfully red, shiny lip gloss of his tasted like. But he had. He could still taste the delicious taste that was Magnus's soft glossed lips on his tongue. 

Standing under the hot water of shower, he hadn't realised that he was crying until now. Tears of relief and joy poured from his eyes as he remembered what he had done the day before. He had never once felt braver before in his life, coming off the altar and shutting his mum off with a firm "Enough", and grabbing the man he was so hopelessly falling for by the lapels and kissing him full on the mouth (and outing himself) in front of almost every single he knew. And that was seriously saying something, considering he slayed demons for a living and rescued the world on a regular basis.

He was once again brought out of his thoughts by the banging on his bathroom door and Isabelle saying,

"Come on big brother. I thought now that you could just go and get laid, I wouldn't be dragging you out of the shower every day." And Alec could practically hear her smirking.  
So he just rolled his eyes at her.

"Don't role your eyes for me, I can literally hear you role your eyes from here." She said teasingly but with a hint of affection in her voice. "Get you tired ass out of shower and go get your man."

He heard the clicking of her heels as she walked out of his room and just when he thought she was gone, 

"And, I left you nice clothes to wear, you're going to see your boyfriend after all. Good luck Alec. And don't forget to use protection."

Alec barely resisted face palming himself. Sure he loved his little sister, but she could be too much some times. He quickly washed himself and came out of the shower. Izzy had laid out a whole outfit for him on the bed. There was a pair of black jeans (which were entirely too tight for his liking, which Izzy had bought for him a few months ago), a cobalt blue button-down shirt (which was also too tight for his liking), his favourite black leather jacket and a pair of combat boots.

He put them all on the fastest he could and for the last touch he added some of the cologne that his father had bought for his nineteenth birthday (and he had to admit it, his father had great taste in that field). He looked at himself in the mirror. He looked good. He always knew that he was handsome but there was something about getting ready and trying to look your best to please and impress someone you cared about that made the butterflies in his stomach do crazy things.

With a last look in the mirror, he grabbed his phone, wallet, stele, and his Seraf dagger (better safe than sorry) and walked out of his room.

fortunately he didn't cross paths with anyone on his way out of the institute. After leaving the institute he hopped on the subway and spent the twenty five minutes journey to Brooklyn, thinking about of the High Warlock who he had with his words and actions, who also happened to be the owner of his heart.

He stepped off the train and walked to Magnus's door step with a racing heart and sweaty palms. He was just about to push the buzzer when he realised how late it actually was. It was the middle of the night, most likely past mid-night already. He considered going back to the institute but then decided against it. He was going to make everything right and apologise to Magnus, and as Izzy said he was going to get his man back, tonight.

HE gathered all the courage he could muster and pushed the buzzer.

to be continued...


End file.
